Friday, September 30, 2011

I might not be SFW

I have inappropriate thoughts a lot. All the time, in fact. But I consider it a sign of maturity that not every single inappropriate thought that shoots through my brain tumbles instantly out of my mouth.

Today, for example, I am succeeding in being very mature, and have managed to suppress two (2) thoughts which would probably not have been appreciated by their recipients.

At an award breakfast this morning promoting injury prevention, a speaker talked about the thousands of people killed by injuries every year. "Imagine that in planeloads," she said. So my brain promptly envisaged these thousands of people, stepping out of the plane into empty space and falling to the tarmac - a hilarious visual (if you're me, and a bit broken). BUT I didn't vocalise this thought! (After all, I hadn't been served yet, and I wouldn't want to be kicked out before the food arrived)

And just now, a workplace masseuse gave me an in-chair massage - oh, sweet bliss! With only minor biting damage to my tongue, I didn't compliment her by saying "If slavery were legal, I'd buy you." Sure, I may have made her a bit uncomfortable, when she asked if I'd like a massage, and I replied "yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" But by my standards, that was practically a normal thing to say.

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