Monday, April 8, 2013

In case of emergency...

...don't look to me for guidance.

We have an emergency evacuation drill at work tomorrow. My evil little mind overfloweth with ideas of how to make it more entertaining.

Ideas so far include:

- Pushing and shoving my way through the orderly queue for the doors, then bolting them shut once I'm outside. CONTAIN THE THREAT!!!

- Screaming WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! at high volume throughout the day. Not just during the drill.

- Looting the cafe.

- Throwing bins through the windows.

- Tipping a car over and setting it on fire. For ambience.

- Weaving a crown of twigs and leaves, donning it and proclaiming VIVE LA REVOLUTION!

- Lighting one or two small but smoke-heavy fires in the building, to more accurately recreate the conditions that might require an evacuation.

- Cornering people and muttering twitchily "It's not a drill! That's what they want you to think! The government is manipulating us all!"

- Sitting down and crying.

I remember a previous boss studiously ignoring the only other evacuation drill I've been in. She was too busy, apparently...

What would you do?

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